Happiness. The one emotion I have been desperately seeking but always seemed a little out of my grasp. I think Hollywood, Disney and the entertainment industry in general have a lot to answer for when it comes to the illusion they paint of true happiness and what that both looks and feels like.
For too much of my life I thought that true happiness was living in a constant state of ecstasy, with a permanent smile and seeing everything in a rose tinted hue. That you’d wake up every day and everything would feel perfect, that you’d never feel sad again.
As I’ve got older and a bit wiser, I’ve learned that is in fact total bullshit.
This happiness that we seek is not all rainbows, unicorns and fluffy bunnies everywhere – in fact it is more a feeling of contentment. Of knowing that despite the negatives that may be affecting you, you still wouldn’t choose to be anywhere else. Of waking up every day and realising that there are minimal things in your life that you’d like to change. Happiness to me now is less an emotion and more a state of being, a feeling of right-ness and of knowing that you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be in that present moment.
I’ve spoken a lot on here over the past few months about how this year has been hugely transformational, and while it’s taken me longer than usual to get myself feeling settled and like I’m moving forward with things, I do feel like I’m emerging out of that difficult period now and things are feeling a lot more rosy. There are still a few ends that need tying up, a few things that need improving but I’m dealing with them in a much more effective manner than I was a few months back and this has shown me how much progress I have in fact made.
It’s this epiphany that has led me to write this post, because while I’m currently full of cold and have no money in my bank account, I actually feel pretty content and pretty grateful about where I am in my life. I still have half of 26 left, and I was determined when my birthday rolled around to make this my most pivotal year yet in terms of personal achievement and growth. Therefore, in celebration of this epiphany, I am going to compile a little list of the small things in my life right now that are putting a smile on my face each day and showing me that actually, despite the negatives, I am happy after all:
- Re-reading my favourite YA fantasy series and falling in love with the characters all over again
- Being shown new films that are 100% changing my life
- Autumn is finally here and that means AW fashion and Christmas is around the corner
- Finally starting to save for a house
- Making pivotal life decisions that feel 100% right no matter how scary/exciting
- Spotify Throwback Thursday playlist
- The 1975 new releases
- My new FILA Disruptors
- Seeing my dogs every single day
- Spending more quality time with my parents and my bestie
- Being able to get an alcoholic drink for under £5
- Being back in my hometown for my favourite time of the year
- Re-discovering my favourite places, shops and restaurants
- Making new memories with my favourite people
- Finally having a disposable income again for the first time in YEARS
- Having some creative direction for my blog and Youtube channel
- Slowly seeing growth on all my social channels and the excitement around creating new content
- Trips to Manchester with my favourite people
- Holiday plans and new people
- Waking up every day knowing I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be
Blazer: Stradivarius | T-Shirt: Zara | Jeans: Topshop
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Photos by the ever so talented Christina