For the record, I’m not nineteen. I wish I was, but I’m not. Oh and I clearly don’t have neck tattoos, but I owe the title of this post to my incessant listening to Four Year Strong recently and I just can’t get the damn song out of my head. So there’s that.
I’m not typically body confident. I actually can’t stand how body conscious I am and it’s something I’m really working my hardest to change. I’ve always been this way, but I definitely think it’s gotten worse since I began blogging in 2014 – see, before then I never really saw myself in anything other than a mirror. I’d have a momentary flash of annoyance at the size of my bum, examine my hips, and desperately wish for abs, but then I’d carry on with my day and not think about it again until the next time I bothered to look in a full length mirror.
Since I started blogging however, my entire life is consumed by creating content, and with the nature of my content being fashion blogging and centred around my personal style, that means often looking at photos of myself for hours at a time while I curate and edit. Now that I spend so long staring at myself I think I have become even more critical of the way I look. I can no longer just stand for a photo and move on, I have to contort myself to appear as tall and slim as possible. My lifelong battle with my hips and bum has become all out warfare and I now really struggle when it comes to styling up outfits as I’m permanently paranoid about the way they could make my bum look.
One positive influence I’ve found in the bloggersphere however, is Chloe Plumstead aka The Little Plum. I absolutely adore reading her posts and seeing how she styles her outfits, but most of all it’s her attitude towards her body and her body confidence that stands out to me and that I enjoy reading about. I find her attitude so wonderfully inspiring and I think it’s gradually helping me to embrace what I’ve been given and not care quite so much while shooting.
I’ve had a love hate relationship with mom fit jeans and shorts for the longest time. On the one hand I love them, but on the other I hate how big they make me look around the stomach and hips (although they do make my bum look bomb AF). I bought this pair from ASOS before Slam Dunk festival in May and spent the whole day feeling super low about the way I looked. I then consigned them back to my wardrobe for the foreseeable future however today I decided enough was enough. I had a gorge Forever 21 bodysuit I was desperate to wear, and I wanted a pair of high waisted black shorts to go with it that didn’t show off essentially my entire bum. Cue me slowly pulling them off the shelf they were on and looking dubiously at them and then deciding to channel my inner Little Plum and absolutely bloody rock them.
And I did. And I actually love them, and these photos regardless of the size of my bum and my hips and whether the shorts make my food baby look even more pronounced. I felt sassy and sexy today for the first time in a long time and while I know I will have good days and bad days, I do really hope this is the start of a change of heart for me and my body. After all, I need to look after it as it’s got to stick with me for the next 70 odd years.
Blazer: Missguided | Bodysuit: (similar) Forever 21 | Shorts: ASOS | Boots: Missguided
Follow me on: