Something I’ve been asking myself time and time again recently is whether trying too hard is what is holding me back. For a bit of context here, I’m mainly talking about in the blogging world although this absolutely carries through to my daily life too.
See, for as long as I can remember, the harder I seem to try at things the more that I just don’t quite get it. Whether that be trying so hard at work I end up making stupid mistakes and losing confidence, or whether it be staying up until the small hours working hard on my blog only for yet another post to flop and another follower to leave, I find that perhaps trying so hard is the thing that is really stopping me from actually succeeding.
The solution to this probably seems simple: ‘take a step back!’ ‘enjoy a break!’ ‘just relax!’ but I think, and especially where this blog is concerned, I’ve become such a workaholic this past 6-8 months or so I can’t actually enjoy down time anymore. I find it very difficult to relax as I’m always either at work in the office, working at home, brainstorming blog content, or preparing to shoot at the weekend so when I am faced with an extended few hours whereby I actually have nothing to do, I begin to feel anxious. This in turn leads me to working even harder to avoid that anxious feeling and the horrible circle starts to repeat itself.
I think I’ve always been a little like this though, even down to stupid things like MySpace in the good old days, I really wanted to be one of those uber scene queens with the cool hair that everyone seemed to love. I tried so so hard to be that kind of person and of course it didn’t get me anywhere. I don’t know if people just saw straight through the stupid kid trying to be something she wasn’t, or if it just wasn’t meant to be, but I kinda look back on my old desperation to be ‘internet famous’ and worry that it’s repeating itself with me and my blog.
Of course these days my goal is absolutely not ‘internet fame’ haha! Nowadays I just want to blog as a continuation of my 9-5 career with the aim of one day, hopefully, maybe being able to take it full time and earn a proper salary for doing the thing I love the most and creating content every day. My love of my blog comes from my genuine love and passion for styling my outfits, directing photoshoots and making videos but does this come across in my writing, or is it just sheer desperation?
I want this space to be somewhere people can come to enjoy my writing, enjoy my outfits, and hopefully gain something of value whether that be simply an idea on how to style an item of clothing, or perhaps something to do on a trip to London, and I really hope I’m succeeding in putting that across. Let me know in the comments below what you think, and whether you think trying too hard can be the thing that holds you back from success.
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