I’m quitting shopping for a while.
There, I said it. This week I’ve spent some savings on my last lot of clothes and shoes for a while (haul to follow, gonna film it next week after I’ve spent my MAC voucher this weekend) and that’s it for me.
Now this was a pretty tough decision to make. I am a self confessed shopaholic. Buying new clothes gives me a rush of happiness that not a lot else brings. Which is a bit stupid really considering it’s so materialistic but hell whatever makes you happy I guess.
But recently I’ve not been happy. I touched a little on this in my last post when I mentioned my weight gain following a stressful few months – I’ve been trying so hard on here to embrace my body, love the new curves and keep projecting my confidence but if I’m honest my confidence is long gone.
I mean I love the novelty of having boobs for the first time. Just gonna lay that on the line – naturally my body is tiny. I have a tiny frame, I’m really short and therefore I’m pretty much flat-chested but for the first time ever I actually have a chest. And it’s the first place I lose weight from too so I better get ready to kiss goodbye (not literally, that would be weird).
But my chest is the only positive thing about this gain. I go to try on clothes and I feel miserable – nothing fits me correctly anymore and I feel unattractive and disgusted at what I see. I look in the mirror when I get out of the shower and I cry. You may find this melodramatic because I am by no means fat, but I have noticed changes in my body that I really do not like and it is time to make a change.
I’m making a real effort with my diet, and aside from the occasional hormonal binges on chocolate I’m not doing too badly. I’ve purchased a workout DVD which I’m trying to do at least three times a week and in 2 weeks time I see a personal trainer for the first time.
I’m going to get my body and my confidence back, I truly am. But until that point I am spending no more on shoes or clothes. I am going to save my money, put it towards a holiday or a Macbook or just enjoying myself. Maybe even save it completely until I’m happy with who I am and how I look so that I can enjoy spending it on clothes that befit the new me and my new life. This is all part of the reinvention.
The outfit posts will continue as normal though so never fear, you just might see some familiar items appearing again!
If anyone has any great workouts for your stomach, bum and thigh areas please let me know! I’d appreciate all the help I can get!