I seem to be in a particularly reflective mood at the moment, in particular, where my life and more specifically what I am doing with it, is concerned. I think I have changed so much over the last 12 months, and in changing, my aspirations have changed as well.
12 months ago I never thought that I’d be blogging. I loved clothes but didn’t have the confidence in myself to experiment with them or talk about my love for them, I thought I’d never be taken seriously and my lack of confidence held me back from doing so many things. This year has been so positive in terms of my self belief, but yet that annoying voice in the back of my head is still doubting everything that I do.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to dreaming that one day this blog will be big enough for me to make money from, or forge a career from. I know that its a dream so many others have as well, and I’m under no illusion that it will actually happen, but I think in dreaming this it causes me to frequently compare what I do to those bigger bloggers out there who are paving the way for us in the industry, which can be both a positive and negative exercise depending on your mindset at the time. One thing that I have noticed, is that each and every one of them is completely themselves. They don’t put on an act, they don’t pretend to be someone they’re not. They’re totally true to themselves and we love them all for it – but if I don’t know who I am yet, how can I become a credible blogger?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t put on an act on here in the slightest, what you see will always be exactly what you get with me, but I just wonder if perhaps my insecurities in myself become apparent to others around me, and maybe they’re still holding me back?
And that’s about as personal as it’s ever going to get on here! Sunday afternoon ramblings over, I’m going to play with my new camera and get a bit creative.
I hope you’re all having a brilliant weekend.